The last two weeks have been pretty busy, to say the least. Unfortunately, I have been back in my old habit of taking on too much, and I haven’t been following my own advice to slow down and rest. Sometimes old habits die hard, I guess.
Two weeks ago, I attended a somatic workshop with Women Generating, which was fantastic, but also intense. Then last weekend we had guests staying with us and hosted a pirate birthday party for my daughter and 15 of her friends. It was a lot of fun, but not what you might think of as restful. Then last week I started an intense coaching program through the Life Coach School (excellent), and I continued my new part-time corporate consulting assignment. Plus, I’m in the process of redesigning my website and re-engaging with my coaching business.
I’m tired just thinking about all of it.
On Friday night, I felt the familiar tug of something approaching exhaustion. I knew I was tired. I knew I was pushing a little too hard. I longed for a break.
I thought I could handle it.
But then I got a very interesting signal from my body. I felt a sharp, throbbing pain in my right breast, in the exact location where a cancerous tumor was removed in May. It happened intermittently throughout the evening. Each time, I wondered what the heck was going on.
Of course, there are always reasons NOT to take a break. That same evening, my husband was working on an intense project at work and I offered to cover the kids’ bedtime routine to support him. I did the dishes because I wanted to contribute to the household, which I hadn’t been doing as much recently as I could have. I hadn’t talked to my sister all day and didn’t want her to think I was ignoring her, so I called her. My coaching class involves a forum, where people post thoughtful, engaging messages all day, and I caught up on a bunch of them so I wouldn’t fall behind. I finally sat down around 9pm. And then later that night, each of my girls (separately) woke up crying, just as I was finally falling asleep.
When I finally got into bed for the last time, I paid close attention to the throbbing pain. I asked my body what was going on. I asked it what it needed.
The answer was crystal clear: SLOW DOWN. I thanked my body for giving me such a powerful and timely message.
For the next two days, I didn’t pay any attention to any of the thoughts clamoring for my attention (I’m going to miss out if I don’t keep up with the coaching forum! The kids shouldn’t watch too much t.v.! We should go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather–it won’t last!), and instead relaxed all weekend. We rested on the couch all day. We watched movies. We drank tea. We made blueberry pancakes. I took a delicious nap on Saturday.
Lots of sleep. Good, healthy foods. No agenda.
And you know what? I feel fantastic today. Totally refreshed and rejuvenated. Ready for the week (a slower, easier week).
What signals does your unique body and/or mind give you to tell you that you’ve pushed too far? If you’re anything like me, you get the signals long before you actually pay attention to them. Maybe you have thoughts that you’re doing too much and should slow down (check). Maybe you have a desire to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon and don’t (check). Maybe your energy starts to wane and you have less motivation to work out, but you do it anyway (yep, check).
If you don’t pay attention to the signals, as I didn’t, you end up feeling run down and eventually get a cold or worse. It’s like there’s an escalation procedure, where the messages start as whispers and then get louder and louder until they there’s no way you can’t pay attention to them (a la the proverbial brick wall). This progression of signals is unique to you–it won’t look the same as someone else’s. Some people might get a sniffle and then a cold. Others feel drained and then conk out for three days. Apparently I get a throbbing sensation in my right breast when it’s time to slow down.
If you learn your signals and you begin to heed them sooner so they don’t have to get louder to get your attention, you might avoid something worse. On the other hand, if you find yourself sick in bed (a wall), it’s likely that your body is helping you take the much needed break it has been asking you for. If so, ask yourself what signals you might have missed (without judgment or self-recrimination), so you can start to learn how to avoid the wall, at least some of the time.
Check and see how this “brick wall” phenomenon might be working in your life right now. Are you missing important messages that your body is trying to send you? Slow down and pay attention. If you do what those signals suggest (take a nap, snuggle up on the couch with a good book, get a massage) instead of pushing forward, your body and your health will thank you. Mine sure did.
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