When you’re lost, upset, angry or disconnected, where do you turn for help? A therapist? Your friendly, neighborhood life coach?
When you have money issues, who do you ask for assistance? A financial advisor? Your accountant? A money coach?
What about when you have an argument with your spouse? Need parenting advice? Have a health crisis? Or when you have more nuanced issues like a desire to eliminate a bad habit or to figure out what you were born to do in this lifetime?
If you’re anything like me, whenever you hit a bump or roadblock on your path, you look outside yourself for answers. You talk to a friend, research the internet, take a class, hire an expert. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this approach at all; often, it is the simplest and most effective way to resolve a problem, especially if you simply don’t have the professional information you need (e.g., the doctor’s medical training) or you are interested in learning a new skill that someone else is willing and able to teach you.
However, it is my contention that as a society, our conditioning to look outside for answers is so engrained that we have lost the connection to our own answers, our inner wisdom. We forget that no one else knows our gifts, our likes and dislikes, our boundaries, or our pain points better than we do. No one else knows the right path for us. Ever. We forget that deep down, our own highest selves will guide us in the right direction, even if that direction is straight to an expert who can help us.
In my life and coaching practice, I have a working theory that I have been testing for a while:
No matter what is going on in your life, what problems you face or issues you have, it all comes down to your relationship with yourself.
Your relationship with your money, your body, your children, your schedule all come back to how you feel about yourself. Your beliefs about money (which inform your financial reality) are a reflection of how connected you are to your own value. Your weight and your health are reflections of how connected you are to your self-image and your body. Your schedule and how you spend your time are reflections of how willing you are to take a stand for yourself. Your spiritual life depends greatly on how connected you are to your own divinity.
You can resolve any problem by tuning into your own inner guidance.
The good news is that every single thing you experience, any thought, feeling, behavior, sensation, circumstance, or problem, is a potential avenue that can lead you directly to your own wisdom and ability to connect more deeply with your highest self.
When you are connected deeply with yourself, it’s not that you won’t have problems (hello), but that the problems shine a light on the thoughts, beliefs and patterns that need to be adjusted to become more self-realized. When you are connected with yourself, you understand that the path you are on is exactly right for you--in fact it is meant for your own individual learning and growth. When you are connected to yourself you:
-Are integrated in mind, body and spirit
-Trust yourself; you know when to look outside for answers and when to turn inward for wisdom and guidance
-Maintain your optimum health and wellness
-Are more authentic, confident, accepting, grateful and compassionate
-Know your own gifts and use them in service to the world
-Own your flaws and don’t let them define who you are as an individual
-Learn from mistakes and heal past wounds
-Live life your way, without apology
So the next time you need answers, try looking inside first. Get relaxed as possible. Get grounded in your body. Check your thoughts and feelings to see whether they are getting in the way of your path. Meditate. Pray. Journal. If you still need an expert, ask yourself this before you hire them: to what extent do they act like they know what’s best for you versus guiding you to your own answers?
Being connected to yourself is the path of self-actualization. It’s the path of integration, the healing path, the way. It’s a spiritual journey. In the words of Lao-Tzu, “knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”
I would love to hear your feedback on this post. Please comment or email me privately!
Photo by ben heine
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